That one time I tried to make salsa

Last week our nanny gave us a bag of tomatoes fresh from her garden.  It was a very nice gesture with only one small problem – neither of us eat tomatoes.  Well we do eat tomatoes, but only if they’re mixed in with other things.  I couldn’t tell her that, and I felt awful for being a tomato-hater.  I resolved to find a recipe and use the tomatoes over the weekend.  My friend Erika had a long list of suggestions.  Spaghetti sauce – too much work, and plus, we have Ragu.  Bloody Marys – don’t drink those.  Caprese salad – nope!   Then she suggested salsa.  Now, I don’t eat that either (yes, I have issues) but JR does and he had a fantasy football draft so he could take it there to share.  Perfect!

I looked up a few recipes and they were all pretty much tomatoes, onion, garlic, lime juice, cilantro, and some spices. I was also supposed to buy a jalapeno pepper, but I didn’t see any of those at the store and I wasn’t sure what other kind of pepper to substitute.  Once I was home, I dusted off my food processor – yes, it actually had dust on it – and got started.

Things started off well.  The food processor is AMAZING.  Why don’t I use it more often?  I was throwing in tomatoes, onions, and garlic left and right.  I didn’t exactly follow a recipe because they all seemed to generally say the same thing and I wanted to wing it.  JR chopped up some cilantro for me, and we added that and some lime juice.

Everything was chopped and blended, and it actually looked good!

photo 1 (2)

I was feeling really proud.  Look at me go!  I asked JR to taste it and with one look, I knew I had failed.

johnny depp

I didn’t want to give up, so I retraced my steps and searched the internet for help. Only then did I realize that the cilantro I purchased and added to the salsa was in fact parsley.

photo 2 (2)

Oops.  Also,apparently the jalapeno (which I hadn’t been able to find) is a key ingredient.   So I walked to the little store down the street in search of a jalapeno.  This is what I found.

photo 3 (2)

The internet – and some salsa-savvy friends – advised me to try roasting the peppers before dicing and adding them, and to add more lime juice and garlic.   Let me tell you that I’ve never roasted peppers once in my life, but I felt kind of fancy doing it.  I followed all of those instructions and then put the salsa back in the fridge overnight.   The next day, when JR got home from work I begged him to try the salsa again, thinking I had surely nailed it this time!

He was less than thrilled, but I think he felt bad for me so he agreed.   I was full of hope as he took a bite.

Once again, his face said it all.

cam no

And down the drain went the salsa.  The funny thing is that this ALL started because I felt guilty not using the tomatoes our nanny brought us, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her we don’t eat them.   Oh well, I’ll get you next time salsa recipe!

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